It takes courage to face the elephant in the room.
Landon* sits down on the couch, just having met me; I’m sitting across from him.
He can feel the nervousness inside his stomach: “Am I really about to just talk about all of this? I don’t even really know how to say it?”
For months now, years even, Landon’s known something was off, something was nagging him. Things in life just weren’t working the way he hoped they would, the way he expected they would.
And now Landon’s here in my office. In the next minutes, he finds himself telling me things he has never talked to anyone about.
Feelings.
Thoughts.
Concerns.
Pains.
Landon doesn’t even know how to say half of it. He feels so stupid talking about it to ‘this guy’ who probably thinks he’s crazy already, who’s probably already thinking he’s just too much.
But I’m not thinking any of those things.
I’m listening.
In a way most people don’t listen.
I hear what Landon is saying.
And I translate those sounds in a way Landon never could on his own.
Because I hear courage and deep pain all in one breath. I see deep loneliness and fear in one facial expression.
I begin to hear patterns and see key holes appear. The words aren’t a random mess at all. They are the beginnings of a picture being drawn. The beginnings of a map being sketched. The beginnings of answers being spoken, to questions Landon doesn’t even know to ask.
This is what counselors do. We listen.
We hear you. One-one-one. Person-to-person. Human being-to-human being.
And we begin to see and understand.
But better than just understanding you. We care.
I love working with people one-on-one in individual counseling because it gives me a chance to delve deeply with someone into the control room of their life.
Emotions are where decisions are made. Thoughts and feelings and desires and needs are the anchors and rudders of our lives.
As we start to understand yours together, doorways slowly start to open.
And something new starts to form.
Individual counseling can engage countless struggles.
Landon’s was one of intense self-shame coupled with a sense of powerlessness. You see, Landon is gay. And as a gay guy, his feeling of being different combined with a rather intense anxiety produced a paralysis of shame and powerlessness.
Landon told me things that first session he had never talked about before. And I told him things right back that he had never heard, such as: you are a remarkable person, and you can make it through this.
Landon had never really heard a voice of compassion and complexity speak into so many of these deep struggles and anxieties he felt. The voices of his surroundings were so loud, and not particularly kind.
It would take months of work, but Landon eventually got to such a place of confidence and security that he started dating, and not just guys who weren’t good for him. We walked through the process together, how to pick a guy who would work well for him.
Landon still struggles sometimes with those feelings of anxiety, usually less often and less intense – they aren’t all gone. But he now has real, vibrant feelings of confidence. And he knows how to cope with the anxiety when it comes, how to navigate it.
Landon doesn’t need me anymore, that counselor he set across from with anxiousness curling in his stomach. Landon knows he can always come to see me if he needs it. But he made the decisions he needed to make. He understands himself in a whole new way. Sees the way he works in a whole new way.
Landon is a free man.
When I hear stories like this, it’s easy for me to remember the positive ending, rather than the years of struggle that came before it. Please don’t wait for another year or even month. Please don’t wait another day.
Individual Counseling can transform lives.
Counseling transformed Landon’s. And now I’m inviting you.
Come sit on the couch. Be honest and open.
And see the freedom and confidence you need.
Send me a message below or call me today at (302) 497-5023.
*Generic client formed from many clients.