Confident – or petrified?
When you first walk into my office and sit down on my couch, it’s easy to feel a mixture of: “I really hope this helps” and “What was I thinking seeing a therapist?”
But it usually doesn’t take too long as we get to talking for you to realize you are with someone who not only deeply understands but who has done this before with others and seen real change.
I can no longer count the number of times someone has talked about something with me they have never really shared with anyone else. But I also can no longer count the number of times people have found incredible relief in finally sharing it, letting someone in who understands and can help.
There is no ‘just because.’
For me, therapy is about connecting with what’s really going on, connecting so genuinely and so deeply that we begin to grasp what’s going on, what someone really needs.
Human beings are never upset “just because.” People don’t reach the end of their rope “just because.” We get there because our needs are not being met. Something in our life is blocking us from getting what we need.
Once we begin to really connect to and grasp what is going on (and often there is more than one thing), then we begin to use proven ways to begin to create change.
The techniques we use are ones I’ve seen work personally and that peer-reviewed research has shown work as well.
The therapist relationship…
But at the end of the day, and I say this unabashedly, what matters the most is the therapist. Is the therapist someone who can connect with you, who sees you?
People don’t just need a professional hidden behind a clipboard. People need a human being who cares, understands, and demonstrates the very ways of seeing and being that help someone find the hope and change they are looking for.
Part of the reason I’m so confident about this is not just because of my education, training, and experience, but because I’m a part of the LGBT family myself – and therapy was what I needed.
About Me
When I was in high school and early college, I thought I could handle it by myself. I thought if I were just strong enough and just kept going, I’d be okay. But I wasn’t.
And I wouldn’t be. Not dealing with the pain and fear I felt as a queer person ultimately left me sitting on the floor of my apartment, lost in aloneness, feeling like I could never put life back together again.
That’s when I finally got a therapist. After everything had fallen apart. After I had been crushed by everything, I hadn’t dealt with. Getting a therapist was the best decision I ever made.
Therapy transformed me from the inside out, taught me to love myself, and, oh, God, to feel safe and happy in my own skin. I could never have dreamed I’d ever feel so alive, so free, and so content. It was hard and scary, but it was endlessly worthwhile.
My therapist had so deep an impact on me that I decided to become a therapist myself. I’ve always had a natural, deep empathy wanting to help other people, to help them see how wonderful and good they are, to help them make their hopes a reality.
Therapy was the way to do that, and I knew I wanted to help my LGBTQ+ family the way I had been helped.
Here I am, years later, having completed my graduate course work at Amberton University and the years of supervised work that come after. Now I’ve worked with more LGBTQ+ people than I can count on and have my own practice. I’m so deeply grateful to have seen so much healing, hope, and love found.
I recently married my boyfriend of four years, who is also a therapist, so I admit we have some strange conversations. 😉 We live together in Plano.
I did it, and you can, too. I know it in my bones that you can be free. You can be whole. You can have the life you want. Just like me, and so much more.